Funniest Flight

15^th June 2018. Sunday, 5 a.m.

We were dragged out of our beds, made to change out of our night-clothes and ordered to help haul 6 suitcases filled with products down the stairs and load the car. Rubbing our eyes and grumbling under our breathe, me and my elder sister  got ready, and started off for the airport, accompanied by my mother, to  catch the 5:50 a.m. flight between Durgapur and Delhi.

And this flight, my friends, would be one of the most comical plane-rides of my life.

Durgapur airport is humongous and very busy, with all of four flights each week, and a single runway. (Well, to be honest, I had been pleasantly surprised. The place was quite big and airy, had friendly staff and even a food kiosk inside.) 

We were travelling to Greater Noida to take part in IFJAS 2018 (Fashion Jewellery Trade Fair), and had a lot of ‘unconventional’ luggage. We had dumped photo frames, coasters, trays, stoles, jewellery and earrings, along with hammers, nails and other tools to help us set up our stall in random nooks of our suitcases. Needless to say, we had been expecting the officials who screened our baggage to be astonished and get us to open all the ‘carefully bubble-wrapped samples'.

Two of our six suitcases were hauled up, and my mother, in the process of unlocking the cases, managed to unknowingly change the original ‘code’. And, while I couldn’t control my laughter, my more responsible co-passengers struggled to get the box open, while the official overlooked the whole scene with a amused smile. Soon, (after trying a bunch of random combinations) our box was successfully opened; certain products were unwrapped and finally the satisfied official allowed our box to be passed through.

The process of check-in went as 'unsmoothly' as we could have feared. They found our luggage 8 kgs overweight, forcing us to carry an awkward, heavy 10 kg bag as a carry-on item. (We ain't going to spend 2 grand rupees as overweight dues)

When we started the process of security, our overweight box, was stopped, again and again. We had to open the box, and they started scanning our various kits, such as that of undergarments, clips or toiletries separately. our whole box was unpacked, items individually screened, and we were stopped for a good quarter of an hour.

All I could do was clutch my stomach and keep laughing, while each kit was patiently screened by the officers, and surprisingly, all of our stuff, along with a filled 600ml water bottle and a bag filled with toiletries passed security.

We were a bunch of very pleased girls when we waited for our flight at the largest (and only) boarding gate of RDP Airport. After filling out a feedback form about our 'flying experience' and 'airport ambiance' (Before actually flying), we were asked to board the flight.

But even after the boarding announcement was made, we could not locate a stairway, a bus or an air-bridge to take us to our air craft. To our surprise, one crew member pointed towards a 122-seater jet parked 75 metres from our boarding gate, and we literally walked across the runway to our plane. At this moment, while simultaneously  lugging the awkward suitcase, I could not pass up the opportunity to   Snapchat my friends and adding Instagram stories, while my mouth hurt from laughing 'too much'.

Soon after take-off, my sister felt water dripping on her head from the overhead bins.  Startled, we called a member of the cabin crew, and he, after offering my sister a different seat, took paper napkins out of his cart, and tied to sponge the overhead bin dry. Soon, a half-filled leaking bottle was extracted from someone’s carry-on bag, and we thought the rest of the journey would be a breeze.

But, within moments, the people in the row in front of us complained of a similar problem, and two more half-filled leaking bottles was extracted out of the same person’s bag. And the air hostesses spent a quarter of an hour trying to dry the baggage stowed over our heads. 

But, the stream of water kept leaking through the 'roof'. Finally the cabin crew tracked down a third person’s carry-on luggage, which contained a fourth leaking bottle, out of the next overhead bin.

Two seats became damp, and an uncle joked that the 'Flight ke aandar baarish ho rahi hai" (It is raining inside the aircraft) 

While this scene unfolded, I could feel my stomach hurting and amused tears falling out of my eyes.

This was the most I had ever laughed this early in the morning.